During the glorious month of December, court is closed for two weeks. For us district court assistant district attorneys, that means our work load is dramatically decreased to almost zero. Thus, I had a lot of vacation time, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Of course, there is a catch. First appearances still must occur, even if the courthouse is closed. When that happens, we conduct them at the jail.
My colleagues took the first week of first appearances, so, in all fairness, I took the second week, which included first appearances for Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. These first appearances occur in the jail, as the bailiffs have these days off. The total ambiance for the hearings is a bit more informal, as the clerk and the judge are wearing jeans and a casual shirt. It also doesn't help that telephone calls are coming in, and, during Christmas Eve, a fight (over a chess game) broke out. The day after Christmas, however, was a bit more informal than most.
I got to the jail at the same time as the clerk, and we go inside together. As we walk through the second locked door, I immediately hear screaming and yelling. There is a holding cell not but ten feet from where we will conduct the hearings. Apparently, an inmate was acting a fool prior to our arrival, and he was placed in this holding cell. The usual string of f-bombs were dropped, but at one point, he became really amusing.
Inmate: [yelling] I STAND NAKED BEFORE GOD, AND I AM NOT ASHAMED.
Inmate: [yelling] I AM NAKED AND NOT ASHAMED.
At this point I glance up from my files, and I see the inmate (from the waist up you dirty minded reader) and he has taken his (not-surprisingly) red jumpsuit off (red equals crazy). There are about three jail officers there trying to subdue him. I don't pay much more visual attention to the inmate, although I couldn't ignore his shouting. He continued with this mantra, stating over and over again that he was not ashamed. Then, his shouts changed.
Inmate: [yelling] WHY DIDN'T YOU LOOK AT MY DICK?
I didn't think he was talking to me at this point, so I just barely smiled and continued putting court dates on the files.
Inmate: [yelling] WHY DIDN'T YOU LOOK AT MY DICK? I AM NOT ASHAMED. WHY DIDN'T YOU LOOK AT MY DICK.
After he asked this question, one of the officers told me that he was speaking to me. I just smiled, and, much to my surprise, did not respond to the inmate's query. The inmate continued repeating his question, and then an officer told him that he was speaking to a D.A.
Inmate: [yelling] I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF THAT IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. I WANNA KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T LOOK AT MY DICK. I AM NOT ASHAMED. I KNOW IT IS ONLY 6 INCHES NOW; BUT IT GROWS TO 8 INCHES WHEN ITS HARD. I KNOW ITS SMALL, BUT I AM NOT ASHAMED.
He kept going until the judge showed up and told him he'd be held in contempt if he continued with his behavior. The inmate did quiet down considerably, although at some point he mimicked the Woody-Woodpecker call, which we all found amusing.
As an aside, the inmate was charged with two counts of Taking Indecent Liberties with a Child. He was accused of kidnapping two children from the local Y and then doing inappropriate things with them. Not just a pederass, but a crazy pederass.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Random Quotes from Me
Sometimes, I say things in court that do not merit an entire entry. So, the following represent various snippets of things I said in court.
1. During a first appearance, over a video monitor, where the defendant was sleeping:
Me: "McFly....[tapping the microphone]...McFly......McFly."
The defendant did finally wake up, and, not surprisingly, she was charged with one count of prostitution and one count of drug paraphanalia.
2. During a trial for carrying a concealed weapon, where the defense attorney claimed the defendant's weapon was not concealed because he was wearing a shorter sports jacket which clearly showed the defendant's handgun.
Me: "What kind of man would go to a sports bar on a Friday night with a short tailored jacket [at this time, I have hiked my own jacket up to my upper-chest, and walking around to show the judge how ridiculous such an explanation was]?"
3. During a trial for an unsafe movement.
Me: "One of the greatest things about North Carolina is that we have some of the longest yellow lights. You go up to Massachuesetts and their yellow lights are like blips on a radar screen. I have holes in my car where my mother has grabbed the console and the car door as I tore through one of our long yellow lights."
4. At a motion to dismiss at the end of the State's evidence for a trial on an Assault on a Female.
Me: "Of course, Your Honor, the standard for review for a motion to dismiss at the end of the State's evidence is that, in the light most favorable to the State, has the State put forth enough evidence of each of the elements of the crime charged. Your Honor, may I approach. [My motion was granted, and I retrieved about 20 photographs of the victim's injuries.] The defendant states, through his motion, that the State has not provided enough evidence. The State just points to these pictures, Your Honor. What evidence has the State provided?
[Going trough the pictures] Bruise, bruise, bruise, bruise, cut, scrape, bruise, bruise, bruise, I don't know what this picture shows, bruise, bruise, bruise.
In the light most favorable to the State, Your Honor, we have put forth enough evidence, and we would ask that you deny the defendant's motion.
The Court: With all due respect, the Court will deny the defendant's motion.
1. During a first appearance, over a video monitor, where the defendant was sleeping:
Me: "McFly....[tapping the microphone]...McFly......McFly."
The defendant did finally wake up, and, not surprisingly, she was charged with one count of prostitution and one count of drug paraphanalia.
2. During a trial for carrying a concealed weapon, where the defense attorney claimed the defendant's weapon was not concealed because he was wearing a shorter sports jacket which clearly showed the defendant's handgun.
Me: "What kind of man would go to a sports bar on a Friday night with a short tailored jacket [at this time, I have hiked my own jacket up to my upper-chest, and walking around to show the judge how ridiculous such an explanation was]?"
3. During a trial for an unsafe movement.
Me: "One of the greatest things about North Carolina is that we have some of the longest yellow lights. You go up to Massachuesetts and their yellow lights are like blips on a radar screen. I have holes in my car where my mother has grabbed the console and the car door as I tore through one of our long yellow lights."
4. At a motion to dismiss at the end of the State's evidence for a trial on an Assault on a Female.
Me: "Of course, Your Honor, the standard for review for a motion to dismiss at the end of the State's evidence is that, in the light most favorable to the State, has the State put forth enough evidence of each of the elements of the crime charged. Your Honor, may I approach. [My motion was granted, and I retrieved about 20 photographs of the victim's injuries.] The defendant states, through his motion, that the State has not provided enough evidence. The State just points to these pictures, Your Honor. What evidence has the State provided?
[Going trough the pictures] Bruise, bruise, bruise, bruise, cut, scrape, bruise, bruise, bruise, I don't know what this picture shows, bruise, bruise, bruise.
In the light most favorable to the State, Your Honor, we have put forth enough evidence, and we would ask that you deny the defendant's motion.
The Court: With all due respect, the Court will deny the defendant's motion.
God's Gift To Women
Charge: Assault of a Female
Caveat: I'm really torn about Assault on a Female charges. I understand and believe that there is a cycle of violence. I believe that victims of domestic violence usually return to her abuser and tend to rationalize/execuse/forgive the physical and verbal abuse laid upon them by her partner. Knowing about this cycle, I hate it when an alleged victim of an Assault on a Female approaches me and states, "I want to drop the charges." I'm torn because, generally, I believe that, indeed, an act of violence has occurred. At the same time, I do believe that once we attain adulthood, we all have the right to make decisions for ourselves, even if those decisions are bad ones. I also have a legal problem that, when my prosecting witness tells me, "It didn't happen that way," or, "The magistrate misunderstood me; that didnt' happen," then what am I to do, as a prosecutor, who takes her oath regarding serving justice and not prosecuting crimes for which probable cause does not exist, seriously? For now, I decide my cases on a case by case basis. I'm not afraid to dismiss a case, if the prosecuting witness does present as believable. I'm also not afraid to call the case and make the prosecuting witness state in open court that she does not wish to prosecute. Luckily for me, this next case, the prosecuting witness did want to prosecute.
The victim looked homely. When she looked at me, I couldn't decide which eye to look into, for one gazed off to my right and the other gazed to my left. She explained the situation, and I told her that we would have a trial and explained what would be involved.
When she testifies, the one thing that sticks out in my mind is when she stated, "I came to accept that part of our relationship." When I asked her to explain, she stated,"I just accepted that he would always have pornography. I guess it never bothered me too greatly because those women were unattainable. This was different, because it seemed to me that she was attainable. She was real, and it made me mad."
The incident started with the victim discovered several pictures of a naked woman on her fiance's cell phone. She had asked him to delete them, but the very next day, they were still there. That's when the prosecuting witness slapped the defendant across the face. From there, the two individual's stories differ. She stated that she slapped him once then left the room to get the child they have in common. She stated that he followed her into another room and began to beat her about the arms and neck. She then stated that she went to the local fire department and called the police.
He stated that she slapped him but not just one time. When he testified, he stated that he did, indeed, receive photos of a nude woman. He didn't know who this woman was, and his wife found them on his cell phone. He said that he did delete them, but he had a friend who was more technical savy than himself reload the pictures onto the cell phone so that he could prove to his wife that he did erase the pictures. [Yes, you read that sentence correctly. He actually stated that on direct examination.] Then it was my turn to cross examine the defendant. The following is a snippet of that cross-examination.
Me: So you had pictures of a naked woman on your cell phone.
Defendant: Yes.
Me: You didn't know who this woman was?
Defendant: No. I had no clue.
Me: Yet, this woman, who you have no idea who she is, sent you, of all the people in the worl, pictures of herself nude?
Defendant: Yes.
Me: Your fiance discovered these pictures of a naked woman, who you don't know, on your cell phone?
Defendant: Yes.
Me: She asked you to delete them?
Defendant: Yes, and I did delete them.
Me: But you wanted to prove to your fiance that you did delete them, so you had a friend reload them on your cell phone?
Defendant: Yeah.
Me: And your fiance found these photographs?
Defendant: Yeah, she took my cell phone when I was asleep and saw the photos. I tried to explain that I had the deleted and I want to show her that I did delete them, but she just got mad at me.
In my closing argument, I stated that the defendant's testimony should not be believed because, right off the bat, the defendant wanted to believe that some woman, whom the defendant does not know, sent him pictures of herself naked. [I should interject here that the defendant was not an attractive man, in any true sense of the word.] Of all the men in the world, this woman sent the defendant pictures of her naked body. Your Honor, that testimony is not credible.
Caveat: I'm really torn about Assault on a Female charges. I understand and believe that there is a cycle of violence. I believe that victims of domestic violence usually return to her abuser and tend to rationalize/execuse/forgive the physical and verbal abuse laid upon them by her partner. Knowing about this cycle, I hate it when an alleged victim of an Assault on a Female approaches me and states, "I want to drop the charges." I'm torn because, generally, I believe that, indeed, an act of violence has occurred. At the same time, I do believe that once we attain adulthood, we all have the right to make decisions for ourselves, even if those decisions are bad ones. I also have a legal problem that, when my prosecting witness tells me, "It didn't happen that way," or, "The magistrate misunderstood me; that didnt' happen," then what am I to do, as a prosecutor, who takes her oath regarding serving justice and not prosecuting crimes for which probable cause does not exist, seriously? For now, I decide my cases on a case by case basis. I'm not afraid to dismiss a case, if the prosecuting witness does present as believable. I'm also not afraid to call the case and make the prosecuting witness state in open court that she does not wish to prosecute. Luckily for me, this next case, the prosecuting witness did want to prosecute.
The victim looked homely. When she looked at me, I couldn't decide which eye to look into, for one gazed off to my right and the other gazed to my left. She explained the situation, and I told her that we would have a trial and explained what would be involved.
When she testifies, the one thing that sticks out in my mind is when she stated, "I came to accept that part of our relationship." When I asked her to explain, she stated,"I just accepted that he would always have pornography. I guess it never bothered me too greatly because those women were unattainable. This was different, because it seemed to me that she was attainable. She was real, and it made me mad."
The incident started with the victim discovered several pictures of a naked woman on her fiance's cell phone. She had asked him to delete them, but the very next day, they were still there. That's when the prosecuting witness slapped the defendant across the face. From there, the two individual's stories differ. She stated that she slapped him once then left the room to get the child they have in common. She stated that he followed her into another room and began to beat her about the arms and neck. She then stated that she went to the local fire department and called the police.
He stated that she slapped him but not just one time. When he testified, he stated that he did, indeed, receive photos of a nude woman. He didn't know who this woman was, and his wife found them on his cell phone. He said that he did delete them, but he had a friend who was more technical savy than himself reload the pictures onto the cell phone so that he could prove to his wife that he did erase the pictures. [Yes, you read that sentence correctly. He actually stated that on direct examination.] Then it was my turn to cross examine the defendant. The following is a snippet of that cross-examination.
Me: So you had pictures of a naked woman on your cell phone.
Defendant: Yes.
Me: You didn't know who this woman was?
Defendant: No. I had no clue.
Me: Yet, this woman, who you have no idea who she is, sent you, of all the people in the worl, pictures of herself nude?
Defendant: Yes.
Me: Your fiance discovered these pictures of a naked woman, who you don't know, on your cell phone?
Defendant: Yes.
Me: She asked you to delete them?
Defendant: Yes, and I did delete them.
Me: But you wanted to prove to your fiance that you did delete them, so you had a friend reload them on your cell phone?
Defendant: Yeah.
Me: And your fiance found these photographs?
Defendant: Yeah, she took my cell phone when I was asleep and saw the photos. I tried to explain that I had the deleted and I want to show her that I did delete them, but she just got mad at me.
In my closing argument, I stated that the defendant's testimony should not be believed because, right off the bat, the defendant wanted to believe that some woman, whom the defendant does not know, sent him pictures of herself naked. [I should interject here that the defendant was not an attractive man, in any true sense of the word.] Of all the men in the world, this woman sent the defendant pictures of her naked body. Your Honor, that testimony is not credible.
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