Random Quotes from Me

Sometimes, I say things in court that do not merit an entire entry. So, the following represent various snippets of things I said in court.

1. During a first appearance, over a video monitor, where the defendant was sleeping:

Me: "McFly....[tapping the microphone]...McFly......McFly."

The defendant did finally wake up, and, not surprisingly, she was charged with one count of prostitution and one count of drug paraphanalia.

2. During a trial for carrying a concealed weapon, where the defense attorney claimed the defendant's weapon was not concealed because he was wearing a shorter sports jacket which clearly showed the defendant's handgun.

Me: "What kind of man would go to a sports bar on a Friday night with a short tailored jacket [at this time, I have hiked my own jacket up to my upper-chest, and walking around to show the judge how ridiculous such an explanation was]?"

3. During a trial for an unsafe movement.

Me: "One of the greatest things about North Carolina is that we have some of the longest yellow lights. You go up to Massachuesetts and their yellow lights are like blips on a radar screen. I have holes in my car where my mother has grabbed the console and the car door as I tore through one of our long yellow lights."

4. At a motion to dismiss at the end of the State's evidence for a trial on an Assault on a Female.

Me: "Of course, Your Honor, the standard for review for a motion to dismiss at the end of the State's evidence is that, in the light most favorable to the State, has the State put forth enough evidence of each of the elements of the crime charged. Your Honor, may I approach. [My motion was granted, and I retrieved about 20 photographs of the victim's injuries.] The defendant states, through his motion, that the State has not provided enough evidence. The State just points to these pictures, Your Honor. What evidence has the State provided?

[Going trough the pictures] Bruise, bruise, bruise, bruise, cut, scrape, bruise, bruise, bruise, I don't know what this picture shows, bruise, bruise, bruise.

In the light most favorable to the State, Your Honor, we have put forth enough evidence, and we would ask that you deny the defendant's motion.

The Court: With all due respect, the Court will deny the defendant's motion.