Motion to Continue

Another colleague of mine called me in the afternoon hours to tell me about a communication regarding a continuance. The next day, she hands me a letter, which is printed in blue ink on the back of a memo pad from a local hospital. The letter states:

"I need to have continue
My throat has
pus pockets.
Down long side
my neck Hurts
and diareath
and fever.
I'd swear
I'd make bee
to [local hospital]
I need antibodies
I'm dizzy too.
I have crabs too.
May be strup throat
Somebody could look
in my mouth."

Needless to say, my colleague granted this defendant's motion to continue without completing the requested medical examination.

The Best Warrant for Arrest Ever

One of my colleagues keeps a file called, "Funny," in her drawer. She has various motions and letters which we all find humorous. One such filing involved the charge of Resisting a Public Officer. The warrant stated as follows:

"The defendant named above unlawfully and willfully did resist, delay, and obstruct [City Police Officers], BY REFUSING TO REMOVE A BAGGY OF COCAINE THAT WAS PARTIALLY LODGED INSIDE THE DEFENDANT'S ANAL CAVITY, AND THEN FURTHER PUSHING THE COCAINE UP HIS ANUS. At the time, the officer was discharging and attempting to discharge a duty of his office, INVESTIGATING POSSIBLE CONCEALMENT OF AN ILLEGAL NARCOTIC."

That's just too funny.